Tag Archives: relationships

A mother’s advice

8 Sep

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Growing up with my mom and my sister, after my parents divorced, is when the three of us really become our own little family. Throughout my teenage years, into my twenties and now thirties, my mom was always there for me and ready to give advice even when I didn’t need it or want to hear it. But I have to say, until this day her voice and words are always in my head!

Just the other week, about a week before school started, I was shall we say, ‘presented’, with exes, or men that I care to not see anymore, that were once in my life. They just kept popping up every where I went. So annoying! We all know what this feels like and it’s not very comfortable. Our minds drift off for a quick millisecond of what our past was like and it reminds you of your hurt.

So during one of these encounters, my mother happened to be there with me and she said something to me that literally struck a nerve and I had an A-HA moment.

I was on my rant about “Ugh, why does He keep punishing me by putting me in these situations.” “Why must I be reminded of the jerks I’ve had in my life?” I know I can’t be alone on these thoughts, but let me tell you, the next statement will be what you need to hear as well.

My mother looked at me and said,”Erica, they’re not punishments for you. Maybe you’re meant to be lesson or a reminder for them. It’s not always about you.”

Honestly, I never ever stopped and thought about any of those situations throughout my life in that light. I always felt I was presented those encounters as lessons for me, when they could’ve been lessons for them at the time. Think about that the next time you are faced with someone who hurt you. Believe that you are not being punished for something by running into them. You may be just the lesson they needed to have at that very moment.

Thanks Mom! me and my mom

Listen to the advice!

xo

Blogtember

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Day 13~ Regret

13 Mar

There is not a day that goes by that we all may have regretted something that we did or may have said. I know I’m guilty of this on almost a daily basis. I’m also guilty of always thinking about what I could have done differently. It has taken me almost all of my 20s and now into my 30s to realize that everything does happen for a reason. I’ve learned that regrets create worry, and worry does nothing but cause unnecessary stress and there is absolutely no need for any of it. We have to learn to just let things go and trust in the process.

There’s a reason I didn’t end up with any of ex-boyfriends. There’s a reason why I’m living where I’m living and chose to be there. There’s a reason why I continue to stay in my profession because I know deep down, I know I’m good at what I do.

To help me get through each week, or sometimes every day, I read quotes. I love them and truly live by them. Here are some quotes that I believe in and hopefully you’ll find them to be helpful to you when there are days you may feel any form of regret .

*Remember, there are no regrets in life. Just lessons.*

just lessons

regrets

forgiveness

smile

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Sometimes all you need is a reality check

27 Feb

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I’m sure I’m not alone on this one when I say we sometimes need someone else to bring us back to reality and point out the obvious. And for the most part, it’s usually not what we want to hear but we have to hear it anyway. Other times, it may be “YES! I feel the same way!” and think to ourselves, “God, I’m so glad I’m not alone on this one.” You know you’ve been there at one point or another, so don’t try to state otherwise.

For us girls still trying to survive in this crazy part of the world called~ the dating scene, I’m sure you can feel my pain when I speak of this. And I also know you feel my pain when your now married friends or people who you associate with and they are “taken” say to you, “Oh it will happen someday.” In this type of situation, I want to say to these people, “Listen. You were once me. And yes I know it will happen. But right now, I need you to just listen and be. Let me vent. Let me get it off my chest and then you can bring me back to reality.” Bitchy? Maybe. But for me that’s my way of bring them back to reality.

Today I was sent this link to a fabulously written essay on how we, us ‘single’ folk, may sometimes act~ whether we know it or not. I cannot even begin to explain on how I feel like this post was written for me and the many other girls out there who are in the same situation. She’s blunt, honest, and real. And ladies, we all need someone like this in our life. Luckily for me, I have my sister and my 2 best friends, whom I’ve known since the days of scrunchies and no cell phones, who will always be those people. But sometimes it can be done by a stranger, in writing, for us to always have as a reminder. Permanent. Never going away.

If you need to print out and reread this a few times, do it! If you need to read it daily until you get “out of the basement”, do it!

Once you are ready, you will realize “Your capacity to love is so great that it will carry you through most things in this world that we live in.”

Click on this link below to read this brilliantly written post!

I Don’t Like You But I Want You To Want Me..

Time to move on up ladies!

xo

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Learning to forgive….

18 Feb

How many us have been in the position where we would like to think certain things didnt happen? This past weekend was one that I would like to do over. We sometimes let our insecurities get the best of us and unfortunately mine did.

When we know we’ve made a mistake and there’s nothing we can do to change the result, we first have to learn to forgive our own selves. Sometimes we can be our own worst critic; and I know for a fact I am mine. For the past day and a half, I’ve cried, perseverated on what I could’ve done differently and have analyzed the event over and over in my head. We all know this does not help. I had an a-ha moment when I realized that fate is truly in His hands. If people are meant to be in your life, nothing will stop them. And if they truly care for you they will forgive.

When we are put in a situation like this, we must remember to communicate and be open with one other; whether it be a family member, friend or significant other. Until you are presented with an opportunity to be able to, keep yourself busy~ workout, read a book, organize your home or simply surround yourself with the people who love you.

We don’t know what He has planned for us, but until we do all we can do is ~ “Laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.”

xo

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